Return to Content

Yankee Humor | A Field Guide to Red Sox Nation

Drawing on his vast experience as a onetime power hitter for the Milton Spindlewort Junior High ball team, this fan knows better than any of the Red Sox players, owners, or managers exactly what the team needs, and is frankly surprised that they haven’t called to seek his advice. From pitch calls to player contracts to pending surgeries, he’s got the inside scoop, which he’ll gladly share with anyone who doesn’t see him coming first.

The Long-Distance Fan

At 92 years of age, this grandma has been a Red Sox fan all her life, although she’s never been to an actual game. To her, Fenway Park is the Jerusalem Temple, the Vatican, and Mecca all rolled into one. Her kids have offered to take her on a pilgrimage to Fenway, but when she found out what tickets cost, she asked for a new washing machine instead.
The Young and the Innocent

This kid simply loves the game. Unfazed by clubhouse scandals, bad calls, and lousy management decisions, he’d wear his Red Sox jersey 24/7 if his mother would let him. He sleeps with his baseball mitt, which he got from his late grandfather. And though he’s not sure what heaven looks like, he’s pretty sure he caught a glimpse of it the first time he came through the tunnel and saw Fenway Park.

Please Note: This information was accurate at the time of publication. When planning a trip, please confirm details by directly contacting any company or establishment you intend to visit.

Ken Sheldon


Ken Sheldon


Humorist Ken Sheldon is a lifelong resident of New England, except for two brief stints when he lost his way and lived in California. (He has pretty much recovered.) His humor column “Only in New England” appears in every issue of Yankee Magazine. He is the author of "Welcome to Frost Heaves,” a humorous collection of stories from “the most under-appreciated town in New Hampshire,” written as Fred Marple, the unofficial spokesman for Frost Heaves. As Fred Marple, Ken has appeared at church basements, town halls, and the homes of most of his friends, usually right around dinner time. He would love to hear from you with your tales of life in New England, although being a true Yankee, it may be awhile before he gets back to you. You can email Ken at
Updated Tuesday, April 29th, 2014

Bring New England Home

Subscribe for 1 year for only $19.97!

A 44% saving!


No comments yet.

Leave a Reply

We reserve the right to remove or edit comments that are offensive or disrespectful to our readers and/or writers, cannot be verified, lack clarity, or contain profanity. Your comments may be republished by Yankee Magazine across multiple platforms.

Register Sign In

©2016, Yankee Publishing Inc. All Rights Reserved.
Yankee Publishing Inc., | P.O. Box 520, Dublin, NH 03444 | (603) 563-8111