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Diary of A Ski Patrolman: Week 8

January 24 - 27

by Josh Allen

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Credit: Josh Allen

Credit: Josh Allen

Credit: Josh Allen

Monday
My car choked starting this morning. It sounded like a struggling antelope in the death grip of a fierce lion, or perhaps it was just cursing at me for turning the key. But I didn't blame it, not one bit. After all, it was -24 degrees last night. Incredibly cold to be a ski patroller. But here I am writing this, so that means I didn't turn into a giant icicle. That'd make writing pretty tricky. So I consider today a successful day of survival. Well, I suppose it wasn't that rough. I mean, by Noon it was a balmy negative seven at the summit. If anything, it will just make all other days feel warm. Tomorrow, when it's supposed to be in the 20s, I'll throw on my jacket and two layers instead of six, and be pretty happy that I can move around and look less like a manatee on skis. Now, if I was really a manatee, I'd probably be pretty comfortable in today's temperatures. But since you're not a manatee, either [well, if you are, that's bizarre, but let me know], I offer a few tips in case you find yourself in such frigid weather, on a ski mountain, wanting to venture out and increase the wind chill by zooming down the beautiful, empty slopes.

1. Before exiting the lodge, attach two toe warmers to each foot. Expect these warmers to work for approximately ten minutes before failing, even though they claim to work for five hours. [Maybe they work for five hours on an 80 degree day, though].
2. Find some hand warmers, and toss them into your mittens. Prepare to curl your hands into a tiny ball and possibly want to stuff them into your mouth because they will be cold no matter what.
3. Obtain and equip a toasty neck warmer, and perhaps a face mask, if you value your nose, mouth, or cheeks. If you do not value these things, or find them bothersome, feel free to leave them exposed. After all, you won't have them much longer
4. Finally, make sure you are wearing something similar to the following [I'll list what I had on, as an example]: Baselayers — Hot Chillis longsleeve, Techwick longsleeve; Insulative layers — EMS techwick longsleeve [thicker], Northface Fleece, EMS fleece; Softshell — Northface puffy jacket type thing; Hardshell — Patagonia Patrol jacket; Vest — Patrol vest.
   Yeah, let's count… that's seven layers. Oh, and that's just the top. I also had a baselayer, fleece pants, and my super toasty snowpants on. I told you I felt like, and probably looked like a very large, frozen marine mammal.

Those are just a few tips. I'm sure you'll find more around… but the best and most important one is this — become friends with the patrol at your mountain, and hide in their warm hut after every run, sipping hot chocolate, coffee, and placing your face just over their heater. That's the only sure way to stay warm on a day like today. And, if you do manage to stay warm, you'll enjoy the best snow, and have the whole place to yourself.

Tuesday
We've all been injured before. It's not fun. The idea might sound appealing sometimes, such as when you're really tired and ready to hibernate. Maybe you get home after a long day, and think, "Hmm, if I was sick, or just had a minor injury, but still got paid and got to sit home and watch the Lord of the Rings trilogy over and over, life would be cool." But then it happens, and you sit around, and pine incessantly about working again. Working gives us motivation and energy, and doing what we love while working is even better. Thankfully, I'm not injured. But I think it's important to talk about, because we've had a few patrollers injure themselves during the season already. Fortunately, these patrollers have awesome healing abilities and are just about back to 100% after a short recovery time. But I saw them struggling with their knee injuries [silly knees], and I wanted them to get better. I wanted my teammates back so I could ski with them, and mostly so they would feel empowered again. Take a patroller off skis, and he or she probably feels like a Spartan without his shield . Put us on our skis again, and we feel like a Spartan with the shiniest, hardiest shield ever — pretty epic.